


Walk On

by sophie_448



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2019-03-29 00:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13915125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophie_448/pseuds/sophie_448
Summary: Everybody's got a piece of their heartThat's been stepped on and torn apartBut you gotta move onYeah, you gotta walk on.





	Walk On

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this before "Things Are Gonna Get Better" came out, but it seemed appropriate. Just an angsty little ficlet for your time. Unbeta'd.

It’s taken a long time, but David has come to the conclusion that when you really love someone, you don’t “get over it.” It doesn’t always feel like a punch to the gut, sharp and unrelenting. Sometimes it doesn’t even hurt at all, but then something will remind him, and he’ll feel that almost sweet ache in his chest. Like now, finally squeezing a lunch with Cook into both their busy schedules.

David gets to the restaurant first and is sitting facing the door. He looks up from his menu, and suddenly Cook is there. And it’s like David forgot, somehow, what he was like in person, but he’s struck with it overwhelmingly now. Cook scoops him up in a giant bear hug and says, “Arch, man, it’s good to see you,” against David’s neck before pulling back. He holds David by the shoulders and looks him up and down for a moment. “You look good,” he says.

David shrugs and smiles. It’s not hard anymore to casually say, “You too.”

They sit down and forget to read their menus, because they’re too busy catching up. It’s not like it used to be. David used to feel like he was going to go crazy or explode or something just from being in the same room as Cook. Now he can sit and talk to him easily, but there’s still a tug in the back of his mind.

He remembers the conversation. It was in Manila. He finally just couldn’t take it anymore, so he’d mustered all his courage and told Cook how he felt. And Cook had looked at him with sad eyes and told David how much he loved him, just not like that. And when David lost the battle and the tears started falling, Cook had hugged him hard and fierce and muttered nonsense in his ear until he got himself under control. And that had been wonderful and horrible all at once, because Cook was holding him so close, but he still couldn’t touch, not the way he wanted to.

He’d thought it was worse, not knowing, but after that he found that the absence of hope was the very worst of all. It helped that their schedules kept them so busy that, even with the best of intentions, they could barely manage to get see each other at all. David nursed his broken heart all by himself. After all, who could he tell? He was almost surprised when it did eventually get better, but it did.

Sitting across from Cook now, David doesn’t even think he could be with him, if he somehow changed his mind after all this time. And yet, Cook is the standard that everyone else has to live up to. He feels hopeless sometimes, because what are the chances that he’ll ever find anyone else who gets him like Cook does? Cook’s always liked him, despite his being this weird, dorky kid. Cook knows how to tease him in a way that makes him laugh and blush, but without any sting to it. Cook has never treated him like a kid brother, no matter what he said to the media. David doesn’t understand how someone as cool and amazing and talented as Cook could think of him as an equal, but he so clearly does. Who else could be all that?

Cook throws his head back and laughs, loud and genuine, at something David just said. David knows if he had to choose between having Cook this way or not at all, there’s no question. But it’s not enough, just that. And if Cook can’t or won’t give him the rest, David needs to find someone who will. He just wishes he knew how to do that.


End file.
